What Were They Thinking?

This is not a typical review, I just want to quickly show you two dolls that I saw last week at Toys R Us.  When I first laid eye on these two, I had a hard time believing what I was seeing.  Both of them have potty humor themes to one degree or another, which is not something I can say I've seen very often (if at all?) in the mainstream doll world.  I ran into both of these dolls on the same day, at the same store, within about three minutes of each other.  This left me scratching my head and wondering if I was in some kind of crude alternate reality.  I actually bought one of the dolls--so that I could show her to you, but also because most things about her are very cute and ordinary.  She's a Moxie Girlz doll with bright red hair and a colorful pet unicorn.  She cost me $14.95.

Moxie Girlz "Kellan"...and her pet (by MGA Entertainment).

That unicorn is the problem, though.  Kellan is part of a new series called the Poopsy Pets.  That's right: the Poopsy Pets...not the nickname, poopsie, but Poopsy because they poop.

Not only that, Kellan's magical friend poops rainbows.  

Awesome.

I have to admit, I giggled when I first saw this, but it might have been more of a nervous giggle...like wha-- heh, heh...really?  It's hard for me to read this and not think of a certain crude quote that I wouldn't want my kids in the habit of saying.  

The deal is, you can place little rainbow egg-shaped things into this unicorn's mouth, they pass through, pop out...and then they can be eaten again and again!  Mercifully, the box stops shy of calling this a poop-eating unicorn.

Coprophagic cuteness!

This rainbow-ejecting unicorn is only part of the fun.  Also available in the Poopsy series are Lexa and her glitter-pooping bunny and Avery with her gemstone-pooping koala...or whatever that animal is:

Be you!  Poop gemstones!

The nameless unicorn is posed on the box with a colorful stream of rainbow droppings lined up behind her.

Did Kellan bring her plastic bags?

Whether it's intentional or not, I find it amusing that the unicorn is posed in the box with a garden of flowers sprouting right behind her:

The flowers feature prominently as part of the Poopsy Pets logo, too.  This has to be either a reference to the compost value of herbivore excrement, or maybe just a desperate attempt to keep consumers from thinking about actual poop when they look at this box.

We're saying "poop" a lot here, but think of flowers instead...please.

Kellan's box can be opened by cutting the plastic cover away from the colorful backdrop.  This girl comes with her unicorn, six rainbow "poops," and a pamphlet of directions. 

The directions only include information about Kellan and Lexa.  Avery and her koala are nowhere to be seen.  Maybe the koala has a different digestive mechanism for dealing with those gemstones?

The directions are fairly entertaining.  In the contents list, the little plastic things are called "poops:" 

In the feeding directions, though, they're conveniently called "eggs."  Apparently, slightly more force is necessary to feed the bunny pet:  

Pry open mouth with finger and cram food in.

What's amusing to me here is that real rabbits actually have to eat their poops in order to get the necessary nutrition from their food.  And yet you have to force-feed this rabbit her "eggs" while the unicorn gobbles those bad boys up like candy.

 Apparently, constipated animals should be shaken:

And warning: there's absolutely NO poop sharing allowed:

Don't even think it.

Here's Kellan and her unicorn free from their box:

The unicorn is made out of hard plastic and comes wearing a leash and a little frilly jacket.  Frankly, this character looks more like a dog in a unicorn costume than an actual unicorn....which explains the poop-eating, I guess.

It's a teacup unicorn!

Very cute from this angle.

It has rounded bear ears and a tiny blue horn.  The eyes remind me of Cutie Pops eyes.

The leash is a simple piece of pink satin ribbon with loops at each end.  One side is for Kellan to hold, and the leash strings through the other side to create a constricting loop that fits around the unicorn's neck.

The little jacket is attached with velcro under the unicorn's neck and under its belly:

It's a little tank top tutu.

It looks like both the unicorn's front and back legs can move, but actually it's only the back legs that have motion. 

The back legs are partially hollow and bob up and down as part of the pooping mechanism.

The unicorn has a bright, painted rainbow mane and a neon pink tail.

The mouth has a hinged lower jaw with a tiny spring.  The mouth can be pulled open, but it also opens naturally with the pressure of an egg:

Feed me!

Inside the mouth.

The eggs are pink, yellow and blue and have a small amount of glitter stuck to them.  These things roll around all over the place and I have already lost one of them.  They would not be appropriate for children under three.

Feeding the unicorn is actually pretty fun and easy.  She gobbles the eggs right up:

Like poop-corn!

Nom, nom nom.

Once the unicorn has a full belly and is standing upright, the eggs are clearly, and somewhat disgustingly, visible at the back of the animal:

Slight pressure on the unicorn's tail causes the hindquarters to depress, lifting a small plastic barrier that holds the eggs in place:

The egg poops go shooting out and roll away.  That's about it.  The inspiration for this toy is clearly the jelly bean-laying plastic hens that come out at Easter time.  Those toys are usually sold in the candy section and cost under $5.00.  I think jelly bean hens are pretty fun, and I like eating the eggs.  This toy takes that idea and removes the candy.  That's bad enough, but making the animal a unicorn also removes the cleverness.  Unicorns don't lay eggs--or eat them.  So we're left with a pet that inexplicably eats its own egg-shaped poop.  I have three of those pets in my house already and don't need another.

The nice thing about this set is that Kellan herself is normal.  You could throw away the choking hazard unicorn and still have a nice toy to play with.  She has long red hair with bangs and is wearing a colorful, modest two-piece outfit:

Kellan's hair is bright red with highlights. The fiber isn't silky-smooth, but it's soft and easy to manage.  The hair is covered with dry white flakes of styling product:

I've never reviewed a Moxie Girlz doll before, which is one of the reasons I decided to buy this set instead of just gaping at in in the store.  

The Moxie Girlz have very distinctive faces, with oversized teardrop-shaped eyes.  The eyes are painted and have a very flat profile.  

This Kellan has great freckles.  I like the realistic shapes and uneven spacing.  

She has two-toned purple eyes with heart-shaped reflective dots in them:

Her arched red eyebrows are hidden by her bangs:

 Both the eyelashes and the iris details are painted as thin black lines of varying lengths:

Sea urchin eyes!

There's something funny about these eyes.  They're very large, have an odd shape, and I think my doll's eyes are slightly crooked.  There's a lot of detail in the design, but all of the dark lines are distracting.  It'd be neat to see this doll with more traditional eyes.

Kellan has a rose-colored mouth accented with shimmering frosted pink:

There's also a small area of darker pink to accentuate the puckered shape of the mouth:

Kellan's outfit consists of a shirt and coordinating pants.  

The shirt has a nicely stitched ribbon belt:

The construction seems quite sturdy for a play outfit, although the bottom edge of the shirt is not finished in any way and could get ragged or frayed:

Like the original Equestria Girls, Moxie Girlz have peg legs with detachable shoes and no feet:

The pegged attachment of the shoes allows for 360 degrees of ankle movement:

Kellan's pink heart-print pants are tight at the bottom and have a simple, wide waistband with a velcro closure in back.

Kellan has seven points of articulation--nine if you count her ankles.  Her elbows do not bend, but her arms are made out of a flexible vinyl.  She has hinged, rotational shoulders and hips, and rubbery legs with internal knee joints.  Her head can look up and down a little bit:

Here's a quick lineup to show you how Kellan's ten inch size compares to Barbie, Bratzillaz and Pinkie Cooper:

Barbie Midge, Bratzillaz Meygana, Moxie Girlz Kellan, Pinkie Cooper Pepper.

After seeing the dolls together like this, I was surprised to discover that Meygana can wear Kellan's clothes.  Even the skinny-legged pants fit nicely over her normal feet.

Not really her style, but still.

Here are a few more pictures of Kellan:

Ok, now that you've seen Kellan and her Poopsy Pet, let me show you the doll I didn't buy at Toys R Us that day...and won't ever buy:

This is a "Tub & Toot" baby by Toys R Us' own You & Me brand. The doll, as you might guess, is designed to fart in the bathtub.  It doesn't actually say this anywhere on the box (I can see why, because there's no nice way to say it) but the name, Tub and Toot combined with the shocked look on that little girl's face tells the whole story.

There's also a description that says, "I make funny bubbles!" with a picture that makes it clear they're not talking about mouth-blown bubbles.  

I kinda wish they'd gone all-out with the packaging and just embraced this theme.  I mean, if you're going to make a doll like this, why get all cryptic and delicate with the advertising?  

How about:

Or maybe...

The problem here is that while real-life farting in the bathtub could certainly be giggle-worthy, it's only funny because of its accidental, unexpected, and (hopefully) infrequent occurrence.  This doll removes all of those qualities, and in doing so removes all of the humor.

There's an African American version of this doll, too:

I tried to get a close-up of her face:

She looks almost as surprised as I did.

The dolls have detailed eyes, but there's not much else about them that is appealing to me.  They look cheaply made, the hard torso seems bad for cuddling, and they're not especially cute.  This means that all they have going for them is the tooting feature.  They're basically $30 novelty jokes.

I mean, I guess if the giggling and farting feature was really well done, this baby might be a hit.  I have seen dolls that giggle so contagiously that you can't help but smile or join in.

Unfortunately, this doll sounds like an angry squirrel:

I can only imagine the conversations around the table when something like this is being developed.  I mean, doll companies are trying to appeal to kids, granted, and kids tend to go through a potty humor stage...that's normal.  However, there are a lot of natural phases that kids go through that I wouldn't recommend memorializing with a doll.  What's next, a grocery store tantrum doll?  A teething doll that bites everything?  A first zit doll?  An awkward first date doll?

This baby's face sums up how I was feeling after I saw the Tub & Toot doll:

This baby also contributed to the bizarre experience of that whole shopping trip.  Her eye is impossibly wonky.  I assumed that it must have come loose, but no--it's firmly glued down like that, and she was prominently displayed on the shelf.  Perhaps the You & Me dolls need a little more editing--both in the planning stages and in the inspection of their final products.

So, that was my unusual shopping experience.  I found a farting doll, a pooping toy...and a wonky-eyed baby thrown in as a bonus.

Happy trails.

I am always looking for creative new things in the toy stores.  I suppose Tub & Toot and Poopsy Pets are original in their own way, but they're not my thing.  I'll admit that the idea of these dolls is funny, and that there was a certain amount of fun associated with the surprise of finding them on the shelves (especially two in one day!), but I don't see any lasting value in them.

I can't picture buying either of these dolls for a child.  I'm all in favor of the acceptance of natural bodily functions, but I'm not into flaunting them.  I don't even think that the unicorn toy would make a good potty training aid, since it's not even close to being realistic and the eggs are too small to be safe for young children.  The unicorn could make a fun gag gift, if marketed completely differently and sold in adult specialty shops like Think Geek, Bull Moose or Newbury Comics--you know, alongside the squirrel underwear and fake mustaches.  Kellan herself is a fine doll, and I especially like her long red hair and freckles, but Moxie Girlz can be found at much better prices without the pooping pets.

Don't get me wrong--there are certainly worse toys than these out there nowadays.  For example, only a few weeks ago, I rounded a corner at Toys R Us and ran smack into a display of Ugglys.  I almost yelped out loud.  These abominations, for those who have not seen them, are bug-eyed, burping, drooling, farting, slime-infested electronic pug dogs.  They're yucky, and they look horribly diseased.  I may be a prude, but I find it physically uncomfortable and a little sad to look at them.

I'm hoping that my recent gross toy sightings are not evidence of a new trend.  I highly doubt this, but you never know.  I like the monster and vampire trend, enjoy the recent focus on fairy tale themes, and get a kick out of the para-human dolls like Pinkie Cooper and the Equestria Girls.  However, if the shock value of potty humor is the next big thing...I won't be along for the ride.