Merry Christmas From Lena and Ian!

Lena asked me the other day if she could do a quick blog post for the holidays.  I think she's worried that she's put her professional life on hold for too long--but I'll let her explain what's been going on around here.  I'm going to take the day off!

Christmas 2025.

Hi everyone!  Sorry I've been gone for so long.

We had such a beautiful wedding in August, didn't we, Ian?

It was perfection, love. 

And then we went on our honeymoon, and maybe stayed away longer than we should have...

And I kept meaning to do a review after we got back, I really did, but time got away from me.

And then in November we got horrible water damage in the walls of our bathroom.  It's a mess.

So while the house is being repaired and renovated, Ian and I have to stay with Emily.

So I figured we'd put up a tree to make the place feel more festive.  Emily does nothing.

Hey!  Bruno!  Get down from there.

Pffft.

So, it's been a little crazy for us.

But I didn't want anyone to think I'd quit the blog!  I have a lot planned for 2026.

Oh--and I actually have a little something I can show you today!

Ian, would you do me a favor and grab a chair from the house?

The pink chair?

All of the chairs are pink, Ian.

Since Emily's been doing an advent calendar series, I thought I'd share some of my own calendar with you!

Thank you, Ian. That's my favorite pink chair.

Look at all of the new books we've gotten!

They're all from this enormous Mini Brands advent calendar by Zuru.  It costs $24.99.

I won't show you every single book, just my favorites.  Because I'm capable of doing a short review.

Look at this beautiful hardcover Eloise book!

Every single page is filled with pictures.

I also like this copy of Little Women.

The pages are hard to read, though.

And I lost my reading glasses when we had to move out of the house!

Emily, will you take a few close-up photos in the studio so everyone can read the pages?

I thought I was taking the day off, but fine.

The assortment of books in this calendar is nice.  Most of them are paperbacks, but there are a few hardcovers, too.  Here's a sample:

I love that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is in the mix!

I like the Nancy Drew book because I had that exact same volume as a kid.  But Lena's favorite is Eloise:

The illustrations are fun to look at, and there's a different picture on every page:

No text, though.

Here's a better look at Little Women, which Lena also mentioned:

One problem with these books is that after the spines have been bent, they can't close flat again.  This is as flat as Little Women gets now:

Maybe I can weigh it down with something to flatten it again?

But every single page is filled with minuscule text:

Amazing.

Unfortunately, when I opened this book to photograph the words, a few pages fell out:

Lena's going to be mad at me.

The loose pages are easier to photograph, though.  Here are a few examples: 

From what I can tell, there are a lot of unique pages, but each one is made up of paragraphs that are repeated in a different order on other pages.  Like the fourth section on this page, starting with "V:"

Is similar to the third section on this page:

Lena's not wrong, though; it's all really hard to read.

So, I put a few of the pages into an image search and let Google try to translate the words.

Most of it is unintelligible, and some is gibberish Latin:

Frugal Latin.

But every once in a while, Google thinks it's latched on to some actual English, and these phrases make me inexplicably thrilled.  It's like I'm deciphering a lost historical text or something; my own Rosetta Stone.

As an example, the top of this page says that "the crane will be mixed with Interdum and malesuada lazwa:"

I always like my crane mixed with malesuada lazwa.  Further down in that same section it says: "kisses and no effect stands molpath blansht."  Blansht is right.

I could do this all day, but I'll limit myself to one more page--and it's a good one.  At the top, it says, quite clearly, that I will meet my mother vitar in Proan island:

I've never been to Proan Island, but if Mom likes it, it's probably nice.

Also on this page is a warning that Qurk is sometimes a torturer:

Good to know, good to know.

Then, towards the bottom of the page, there's the closest thing to a full idea that I've found so far:

It says, "as the seasoning element of the candle, in the arrow, in the heart itself, pain is a favorite and the elite is adept."

I should write it this way, for dramatic effect:

As the seasoning element

of the candle,

in the arrow,

in the heart itself,

pain is a favorite.

And the elite is adept.

That is poetic.  And profound, too, I'm sure.

I'll probably end up translating more of these tiny pages, because I'm obsessive like that, but I don't have to torture you anymore.  I don't want to be like Qurk.

One other observation that I made (or my son made, to be fair) is that a few of the books have some real text on the first few pages, before they digress into nonsense.  Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a great example of this--and also a lovely little hardcover book:

There's a proper title page inside, and even a dedication:

And the story starts off well:

The reverse side of that first page is also printed with actual words...but then the next page is gibberish:

Down the rabbit hole.

Okay!  That's all I have to contribute.  Now I'm going to go eat cookies and translate some more fake Latin.

Where did everyone go?  Emily took way too long.

Oh, there you are! I was hoping we could get a Christmas card picture while we're all here with the tree.

Shall we get a picture of the two of us and then add the animals?

That's a wonderful idea!  
Emily, can you help?

I guess I'm taking some pictures before I eat my cookies.  Sigh.

Smile and look cute, you two: 

That's easy.

Now let's bring in Riker and Bruno for a few shots, okay?

Bruno, get down from there!

Riker!  Come!

Nobody move for a second!

Got it.  Now let's try one more pose.

That's cute, but can you stop ogling each other and look at the camera, please?

Riker...

That's good Lena, but I need you to look over here, Ian.  Ian?

Good lad, Riker, come and sit.

Okay, this is good!  Say cheese:

Cheese.

Great.  And now let's get one last shot with the lights off for the official holiday greeting:

Happy holidays, everyone!  With love from Lena and Ian. ❤️