A Scottish Wedding

The day has finally come!  After months of preparation (mostly wedding dress shopping...) Lena and Ian are ready to tie the knot.  A big part of getting ready was figuring out where the happy day should take place.  Ian was born in Scotland, and so he was feeling pressure to return to Edinburgh for the nuptials.  Lena doesn't have close family ties other than her sister, so she was easily seduced by the idea of a destination wedding.

My husband and I have a soft spot for Edinburgh ourselves, and are actually celebrating a big anniversary this year.  So, I told Lena that if she was willing to settle for a small guest list, we could manage a modest ceremony overseas.  She readily agreed, and so we packed our bags and flew off to bonnie Scotland:

Lena in Edinburgh.

Lena wanted to rent a big castle for the wedding, but I thought that was a tad extreme.  Instead, we found a renovated dovecot (a.k.a. pigeon house) from the late 1500s with beautiful grounds.  It's like a mini castle, don't you think?

This is a magical place to stay, with modern amenities alongside charming remnants of a utilitarian past:

It's hard to know exactly what you're getting when you book online, but we lucked out here, big time: the gardens, in full bloom, are perfect for a wedding:

The white petals are even heart-shaped.

As soon as we arrived at the dovecot, Lena walked the grounds to see if everything was up to her standards:

I think I can work with this.

It didn't take her long to warm up to the place:

It's going to be amazing!

I had a lot to do as soon as we arrived.  I wanted to build a wedding arch, find some seating, hire a bartender, and make sure all of the guests arrived safely.  So, I shooed Lena and Ian out of the house while I got everything ready.

Ian was eager to show Lena the city, so he took her to a nearby mountain called Arthur's Seat, so they could hike up to the top for a view.

Hi everyone!  I'm here in Scotland, if you can believe it.

And I'm wearing a very Scottish outfit, as you can see.

Shall we get going, Lena?  It's a pretty long walk up to the top.

Hand-in-hand, the two set off on their walk:

Oh, Ian!  It's so pretty here.  And look at those unusual plants!

Suddenly, out of the bracken...

Well hello there!

Eeep!  Oh my god, Ian, is that Princess Merida??

Sorry te jump out at ye like that!  

I'm Merida!

Och, crivens, yer Lena and Ian from TBP, aren't ye?

What're ye doin' here, might I ask?

We're actually getting married today!

Aye, that's right!  Of course!  I knew that weddin' must be soon!

Why don't you join us?  We'd love to have you there!

Oooo! Aye! I'd love te come!

Thank ye, Lena!  This'll be grand!

And I can bring along some of my princess friends, too!

After that surprise encounter, the rest of the hike went without incident, until Lena and Ian got close to the top of the mountain, where the terrain is quite steep!

Come on, love, we're almost there.

It's just over that ridge!

Wait up, Ian!  I don't think I wore the right shoes for this...

Do you need a hand?

No, no.  I'm coming.  Let's do this.

Just over the crest, there's a spectacular view of the city:

There it is!  That's Edinburgh.

And there's the castle, straight ahead.

It's magical, Ian.  And so cool that you grew up here.

They settled in for a while to rest and enjoy the surroundings:

I could look at this view all day.

I could look at you all day.

You're sappy, Ian, but I love you anyway.

Lena and Ian were off climbing Arthur's Seat for what felt like ages, but at least it gave me the chance to get things set up.

I was fortunate that Molly's husband, Lucas, offered to tend bar, since it was hard to find anyone else last-minute.  And we managed to pull together a little reception area at the dovecot to welcome the guests as they began to arrive:

Bar's open!

Thank you for stepping in to help out, Lucas!

Not at all.  My kids are very excited about this wedding!

Now, let me take a moment to explain how the guest list came together.  I thought it would be prudent to invite a few (no more than ten) special blog friends from over the years, and maybe even offer to fly them to Scotland--since it can be quite expensive.

Lena, apparently, thought it would be more dramatic to have celebrities in attendance.  So she reached out to a bunch of people without telling me.

A few of the guests that I invited, like 35th Anniversary Barbie, Effie from the Makie Lab, Jett Dawson, and Holly O'Hair arrived at the cocktail reception right on time...and it looks like LeBron James showed up as well:

That'd be a Lena invite.

...and he's talking to one of the Kardashians:

Or one of the Jenners.  I can't keep them straight.

Effie and Holly got along almost immediately.  I think they were drawn to each other because they both have long red hair, but then quickly realized that they have something else in common:

I think math is easy, too, Effie!

Barbie headed straight for the bar, and, in classic 1950s style, ordered a martini:

There are too many olives.

Margot Robbie showed up (Lena strikes again) and instantly recognized Barbie!

Oh my gosh!  Barbie!  I played you in a movie.

I really enjoyed that movie, Ms. Robbie.

I liked that movie, too, Margot.

Oh, hey!  LeBron!  It's so nice to meet you.  I'm a big fan.

My friend Ryan is also a fan of yours.  Hey Ryan!  Come over here.

I guess Ryan Gosling was invited, too?  Whoa.

Oh, cool.  Nice to meet you!  Lena knows a lot of fun people.

In fact, I was just over there talking to Ida B. Wells, if you can believe it.

Wait, what?  Ida B. Wells is...well, wasn't she born in like 1862??

I'm not sure how Lena pulled this one off, honestly, and Sindy looks skeptical:

Is that really Ida B. Wells?

Well, of course I'm Ida B. Wells.  Who else would I be?

Ms. Wells!  I can't believe it's actually you!

I've read "Mob Rule in New Orleans" and would love to talk with you about it.

Of course, but how do you know about that?  Are you also a journalist?

Well, no I...uh, I play a bit of basketball, actually.

While LeBron explained basketball to Ida, Margot Robbie caught up with Ryan Gosling...and Kylie Jenner got a drink:

Kylie seems miffed about something:

Everyone wants to talk to Ida B. Wells.

Meanwhile, Laverne Cox (the only celebrity I invited) was thrilled to meet Dolly Parton (!!):

Oh, Dolly!  I love your music so much!

Well, honey, you were great in "Orange Is the New Black!"

Then Laverne was interrupted by the entrance of one of her favorite people (who I also invited):

Laveeeerne!!!

Rebecca!

I know how much these two like each other and was excited to reunite them:

This is my princess Laverne!

Amidst all of the excitement and celebrity entrances, Effie and Holly were still lost in their conversation:

Holly: It seems like everybody wants to talk with Ida B. Wells.
Effie: Don't they know it's not a Nash Equilibrium?

Vera Wang was also apparently invited, which is strange considering that Lena won't be wearing a Vera Wang dress today.  

Ms. Wang tried to interject herself into Effie and Holly's conversation:

Hi ladies.  I'm Vera Wang.

But she seemed sad about something:

I didn't design Lena's wedding dress.

Effie and Holly aren't very interested in wedding dresses, so they retreated into a corner to continue their chat:

Effie: More and more people keep arriving, but we seem to be able to squeeze them in.
Holly: It's like we're living in Hilbert's Infinite Hotel Paradox!

And Ms. Wang headed for the bar.  But she was interrupted by a very unusual guest:

Greetings, Earthlings!

I'm Spectra, from Shimmeron!

You wouldn't think that Spectra and Vera Wang would have much in common, but Ms. Wang was actually fascinated by Spectra's futuristic dress:

It almost looks like a wedding dress...

...that I didn't design.

While Spectra regaled Vera Wang with information about Shimmeron fashion, a small pair of non-celebrity guests arrived:

It's Barker and Lucy Labrador from Calico Critters!

We feel short.

At around the same time, Liv Sophie arrived (I had to invite her):

This is so fun!

And she nearly tripped over Barker and Lucy:

Oh, my goodness!  Aren't you the cutest things ever!

I'm Sophie, who are you?

We're thirsty.  Can you lift me up to the bar?

Sophie was unfazed by Barker's brusque reply and happily hoisted him up onto the bar:

Gimme four shots of tequila, bartender.

Here you go, sir.

Barker and Lucy took their drinks and camped out right next to the bar:

Glug, glug, glug...

Sophie tried to join the Labradors for a drink, but I don't think they wanted to share:

Grrrr.

So she left them alone:

Cheers!

Ryan Gosling was on his second drink, and so when Catwalk Kitties Sienna swanned in, he wasn't sure if he was hallucinating or not:

What the...

Hiya handsome!

And Sienna wasn't alone, either:

I'd like you to meet my friend, Pepper!

I also invited Pepper Parsons, because I didn't want to discriminate against Lena's animal friends:

Hi everyone!

Despite the mix of celebrity, non-celebrity, alien, and animal, everyone seemed to be getting along just fine:

And then Lady Gaga arrived (!)...looking a bit...off:

Baby, I was born this way.

Oh, wait.  It's actually Zomby Gaga.  But that's still pretty impressive.

She couldn't get to the bar, though, because Barker and Lucy were blocking the way:

I'll give you a hundred million reasons to walk away.

But they refused to budge, so she had to maneuver around them:

Can't find a drink, oh man!

She finally got her drink and made herself at home...although I don't think Lucas was happy about it:

Um, excuse me...miss?  You can't sit there.

Fortunately, everyone was distracted by a new arrival:

Hey, look.  I recognize her!

Helloo!  I'm Merida.

I met Lena 'n Ian on Arthur's Seat this mornin' and they invited me!

I guess Lena is still inviting celebrities?

I don't think Merida's life exposes her to many people like Zomby Gaga, though...

Och, yer a strange one, then, aren't ye?

Let alone tiny alcoholic dogs:

D'ye no see these wee blootered doggies rollin' about?

Zomby Gaga finally got fed up with the Labradors and hauled them away from the bar:

Don't fight it, fight it.

That gave Merida the space to introduce the friends that she'd brought along:

Lena said I could bring a few extra guests.

Sigh.  Does Lena have any concept of the number of chairs that we have available?  Apparently not.

Meet the Princesses!

Hi!  I'm Cinderella.

I should have thought to invite Cinderella myself, so I feel a bit silly right now.

And I'm Rapunzel!

Okay, yeah.  I should have invited her, too.

And I'm Ariel, the Little Mermaid!

I'm glad she could come--especially in human form.

And I'm Catherine, Princess of Wales!

Seriously?  I don't think we have enough security on hand for this kind of guest.  Also, there's something a bit off about Princess Catherine, don't you think?

I'm fine. It's all fine.

I didn't design her wedding dress, either.

Oh, look, there's one more Princess!  Or...I think that's a Princess?

Urgh...grrr...Sleep...Beauty...gurgle...urp.

Maybe she and Zomby Gaga can be friends.

I gathered all of the Princesses in front of the bar for a quick photo.  Say "Prince Charming!"

Ugh, not that guy.  No, I hate that guy, too.  Me too!  Two timer.  Blarg...yucky prince...

And then they mingled with the other guests:

Gosling...urp...Ryan...yummy.

Princess Catherine went straight for the bar:

God save the *hic* King!

And Sleeping Beauty staggered around making everybody uncomfortable:

Glurg...brains...pink...

All the while, Holly and Effie were still deep in conversation:

Effie: These princesses complain an awful lot about their hair!
Holly: We should explain to them that the Borsuk-Ulam theorem means that perfect hair is impossible.

Suddenly, a young woman rushed in, quite flustered:

Am I too late?  Did I miss it?

My flight was delayed and I wasn't sure I'd get here in time!

She looks like a young Rita Moreno, doesn't she?  Where is Lena coming up with these people?

Rapunzel recognized her immediately:

Oh, my gosh!  You're from "West Side Story!"

Why are there so many princesses here?

Ms. Moreno arrived just in time, because as she was catching her breath, America Ferrera (who I didn't even realize was here, let alone acting as a wedding planner) came in to make a big announcement:

Hi everyone!  We're about ready to get started.

If you would all please make your way out to the garden and find a seat.

Everybody filed out into the garden, where some folding chairs were set up on the paved pathway:

LeBron James and Ida B. Wells were still comparing their careers:

So what does "MVP" stand for?

And of course Effie and Holly were still engrossed in their math:

Holly: Those celebrities took forever to figure out where to sit.
Effie: The Three Barbie Problem strikes again, haha!

Most of the Princesses had to stand in back, since I didn't rent enough seats for the last-minute guests.  But Rebecca was happy to spare a seat by sitting with Laverne:

This is the princess section!

All eyes were on the small arch, waiting for the ceremony to begin:

Lena said she had a good friend who was going to officiate the wedding, but she wouldn't tell me who it was.  

So I was just as surprised as everyone else when he walked in!

As you might expect, he gave an excellent welcome speech:

What a scene!  What a crowd!  Welcome, all.

My fellow citizens, it is my great honor to be with you today at this auspicious event.

Now, look: marriage is about holding on to a fundamental love...and a respect for one another.  Across an unknown expanse of years, and through both hardship and prosperity.  And you do it not because it's easy, but because it's worth it.

Today we'll all bear witness as Lena and Ian make this profound commitment to one another.

Ian, please join me here under the arch.

Ideally, we'd have bagpipes playing as Ian entered, but the budget was limited, so maybe you can just imagine them in your head right now:

Ian is wearing a kilt suit made by a Ukrainian artist at Ohla Dolls Fashion:

Together, Ian and President Obama waited for the wedding procession to begin:

Ian is dashing in his kilt, but looks a little nervous to me:

I can't wait to see her.

First down the aisle was Petra, Lena's modeling friend from the blog:

She made it down the aisle without a hitch, but seemed a bit surprised to see Mr. Obama:

Welcome, Petra.

Ian's cousin Molly entered next:

Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip...

And then everyone waited for the Best Man and Maid of Honor:

Honestly, Callum is a neanderthal who could barely make it down the aisle without tipping over constantly.  Good thing Sela was there to steady him:

I never even saw him at the bar.

And once they parted ways, Obama had to subtly show Callum where to go:

Steady, my friend.

You okay there, brother?

The moment Sela and Callum were in place, Kenna practically ran down the aisle, loving every minute of her job:

I'm wearin' pink!  I have flowers!  I'm a bridesmaid!

She dutifully took her place with the rest of the wedding party as they waited for the little ones:

Maisie and Oliver walked side-by-side, Ollie carefully holding a huge pillow with the two wedding rings:

Oliver presented the rings to President Obama with great care and solemnity:

These are for you, mister.

And then it was Lena's big moment:

Everyone, please turn your attention to the bride.

*gulp*

Lena is wearing Carolina Herrera, the favorite gown from my Patreon poll, and the dress that made her emotional the first time she tried it on:

Yay, Lena!

I'll admit that she looks good in that dress.

The train and veil gave Lena all of the drama that she was hoping for as she walked down the garden aisle:

And Ian couldn't take his eyes off her:

You look incredible, Lena.

The two faced each other under the arch, whispering back and forth:

Love you.

And Lena let Kenna hold her large bouquet during the ceremony:

Take good care of this for me, kiddo.

Obama kept things short and sweet with his remarks:

We come together today in this beautiful setting to celebrate the marriage of Lena and Ian.

And, let me be clear, folks: I know a thing or two about marriage, and it can get tricky.

But if you laugh together, listen to one another, and hold on to the love you see in each other's eyes right now, you're gonna do just fine.

Then Ian and Lena had a few words for each other:

Lena, you are my idol.  Your athletic skill, your intellect, your kindness, your independence--and yes, even your tiny bikinis--they leave me in awe every single day.  I can't wait to start the rest of my life with you.

Ian, I still can't believe that you talked to me on that beach in Culebra.  I never felt like I'd be able to keep up with all of your activities and big ideas, but you've shown me that I can do anything--especially when we're together.  I can't wait to see what our next adventure will be.

Obama held out the rings:

Repeat after me as you give each other these rings.

I give you this ring as a sign of my everlasting love...

Once the rings were in place, there was only one thing left to do!

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!  

Okay, maybe two things left to do...

Lena, you may kiss your husband.

About time!

Everybody cheered wildly at the kiss, and Lena and Ian turned to face the audience:

We're MARRIED!  Eee!

It was all over so fast!  But I guess that's how it goes with most weddings.

America Ferrera ushered the guests back to the dovecot bar while I took a few portraits of the wedding party in the garden.

The groom's group is small, with just Callum and Oliver, so I asked President Obama if he would like to be in the shot, too.  He graciously agreed:

Well done, Ian.

The bridal party is bigger, but I managed to get (almost) everybody to look at the camera for a portrait:

And I snuck a shot of Lena and Sela as they were embracing afterwards:

Congrats, sis.

I wanted at least one picture of Lena on her own...

But she was eager to have Ian join her, which I can understand:

You know, it's hard to photograph two young people in love, because they're always stealing glances at one another:

I had to work hard to get them to look at the camera rather than each other:

Ian wanted to have a bit of fun, though, and literally swept Lena off her feet:

You fit well in my arms, lass.

After that, I feel like the two of them relaxed into the photo session:

Lena was getting a little cold, though, and asked Ian if she could borrow his tartan sash to use as a shawl:

It's colder in Scotland than it is in New Jersey!

Of course he obliged:

They look like a proper Scottish couple now, don't they?

It's considerate of Ian to have a family tartan that looks so good on Lena.

I need more tartan in my wardrobe, babe.

And we should come to Scotland more often, too.

I made Lena give the tartan back to Ian for a few more portraits:

He grabbed Lena's hand...

And spun her out so that she was facing him again.  This resulted in what is probably my very favorite picture of the two of them:

And then Ian did a dramatic dip to finish out the photo session:

Well, they thought the photo session was over at this point, but I was able to steal one more intimate shot as I was leaving:

We didn't plan a formal reception, but the guests hung around the bar until fairly late in the evening--long after my husband and I had gone to bed, anyway.

Now Lena and Ian are headed off on their honeymoon (in the Scottish Hebrides, so I really hope Lena packed appropriate footwear...) while the rest of us get back to normal life.

I'm feeling a bit of a let-down now that the wedding is over.  Lots of planning and dreaming went into this day.  But I think Lena chose the right dress, Ian chose a meaningful location, and the two of them are perfect for each other.  Most of all, I agree with what Lena said in her vows: I can't wait for their next adventure!